winter's coming

it's cold out. the thermometer has only just now climbed into the 20's, and with the blustery wind it feels a lot colder than that (according to weather.com, the wind chill is a whopping 2 degrees right now). and on top of that, it's supposed to snow sunday night and most of monday, with a "significant accumulation of snow" possible...


needless to say, i'm pumped


i love winter; it's probably my second-favorite season after fall, although it can be hard to choose between it and summer at times (spring comes in a distant fourth). i can't wait until the ice is thick enough to go skating in deering park, until there's enough snow to go sledding out on the eastern prom or snowshoeing over local trails. i'm looking forward to breaking out my gaiters, my wool sweaters, my extra-thick socks, my down vest, and all the other winter-related gear and clothing. i'm unusually warm-blooded, so generally speaking the colder it is, the more comfortable i am. fortunately my roommate is of a fairly similar persuasion, which is why the house is usually kept at a balmy 55 degrees (well, we're also both quite frugal, which is probably the main reason why we keep it that cool. but that aside, we both can deal quite well with a cooler than normal habitat). why turn up the heat when you can drink some hot chocolate, put on a sweatshirt and some wool socks, and save a bundle of money in the process?


yesterday while out on one of my routes, i saw a sight that brought back a flood of memories: a guy with a UPS uniform, riding a bike with a trailer being towed behind it, delivering packages.
ah yes, those were the days! that was me, a mere two years ago. i remember some days where it was cool and crisp and the roads were clear and dry, and it felt like the greatest job in the world...


and then, there were the other days


like the day when it snowed so much that it covered the roads with over a foot of powder, which made biking nearly impossible

or the day when i tried to stop on a patch of ice... i ended up dumping the bike, and the trailer i was pulling, filled with heavy packages, ran me over. how humiliating

then there was the time when it was freezing rain, and i was so cold and miserable by the end of the day that people were genuinely shocked by my appearance when i showed up at the door:









(i had forgotten my hat that day, so i ended up looking like some sort of abominable iceman by the end of the day)



i've had some pretty hard-core jobs in my working career, but that has to rank near the top. and yet, i wouldn't have traded the experience for anything. i ended up doing well enough with my deliveries that they eventually offered me a permanent part-time job, which was a real blessing since i had zero job prospects at the time. plus, now i have a trump card in my pocket... anytime someone starts talking about how hard their job is, or how miserable the working conditions, i know i can cut in and say "yeah, well i used to deliver packages for UPS... by bicycle... in maine... in the winter!" and be relatively sure to end the bellyaching


i've noticed a transformation in my attitude regarding not having a car over the past few months. at first, i was still hoping it would work out to find some motorized transportation, so the times when i had to walk were overshadowed by a sort of wistful hoping that this was just a transitory phase. then i noticed that, after a couple of months, i genuinely began to enjoy walking, or on rare occasions taking the bus; they had gone from being "second-rate" modes of transportation to being my preferred options

sure, there are still times when it's a drag not to have a car: when the waves are breaking and i don't have any way to get my board down to the beach; when it's cold and rainy outside and i need to go somewhere; when i forget about a meeting at church until the last second, and have to humbly ask for a ride in order to make it there on time; or, those moments when i cross the overpass over the interstate, and see the multitude of cars passing beneath my feet, and start dreaming of hitting the road, taking the wheel and driving as far as the road will take me...


but fortunately, those moments are becoming increasingly rare. there's been a subtle shift from resignation, to contentment, to joy. i love keeping my eyes out for loose change on the sidewalks, saying hi to the people i meet on the streets, and enjoying that feeling of utter independence that comes from relying solely on your own two feet (or, on occasion, public transportation) to take me where i need to go. i love being active enough that i don't have to be too careful about what or how much i eat (i estimated that i probably walk on average 50+ miles a week, between work and running errands and other assorted journeys). i actually had to figure out how to get some more fat into my diet recently, with the temperature dropping and my metabolism rising by a corresponding measure; thankfully, day-old tony's donuts are both inexpensive and up to the task of providing some extra-delicious calories


winter in maine... you just gotta love it

backpacks and yogurt

it’s amazing how one little thing can throw your day off

every wednesday afternoon i get together with pastor mark right after i get out of work. the ulterior motive is to plan for the upcoming week’s sunday school class (brief sidenote: i was walking past a seventh day adventist church today, and noticed on their sign that they have “sabbath school” at 9:30. i suppose “saturday school” doesn’t sound any better, but even so, it struck me as slightly humorous), but in reality we usually end up eating donuts, drinking coffee and talking about any number of things for the majority of the time, until the lateness of the hour forces the issue and we buckle down and get to work. anyhow, i usually try and remember to bring this giant notebook that the covenant church provides for use with confirmation classes with me; it's filled with great ideas and study guides and all sorts of helpful advice. unfortunately, it’s so filled with goodness that it causeth my backpack to runneth over. so, i decided to upgrad to my larger backpack for the day. no big deal, except...

i had to transfer everything (key word: everything) from my regular, every-day, and slightly smaller bag, to my larger, more capacious backpack

i’m a man of routine: i get up at the same time every morning, have the same morning regimen, and usually pack the same food items for my workday sustenance:

• two (2) Clif Bars, randomly selected from a grocery bag filled with an assortment of flavors
• one (1) banana
• one (1) “Breyers Smart! with DHA OMEGA-3 Fruit on the Bottom Boost your Brain, All Natural Yogurt, also randomly selected out of the fridge. (i’m slightly skeptical about it’s ability to “boost my brain,” but it is one of the last yogurts to have real, honest-to-goodness chunks of fruit in it, which i love. especially if they’re blueberries. also, judging by the pictures on their website, i'm clearly not part of their target demographic)

in order to safely and efficiently eat the yogurt, i have a special yogurt spoon which i keep in my bag, and carefully clean off after each use:

(ok, i’m not going to lie: i lick it clean and wipe it off on my shirt sleeve. satisfied?)

so, or course, i forgot the spoon, leaving it at home in my abandoned backpack:

by the time i realized i was working sans spoon, i was too far afield to consider driving home to retrieve it. i suppose the rational thing to do at that point would have been either (a. procure a spoon from the nearby grocery store (this would most likely entail visiting their salad bar), or (b. eat the yogurt without the spoon

instead, i chose the third option, which was (c. think deep and dark thoughts about how my life is ruined now that i don't have a spoon for my yogurt. not only that, but EVERY YOGURT that i've EVER EATEN while at this job has been consumed with the aid of my sacred yogurt spoon. the blood of a thousand berries and cream of a hundred cows has filled its bowl, and i do it the dishonor of leaving it behind? what a moron


fortunately, my moment of discontent soon passed. i'll spare you the details of how i managed to finally do away with the yogurt (ok, i lied, i won't spare you the details: i drank most of it right out of the cup, and then used a pen i found in the truck to sort of scrape off the sides and get every last bit i could into my mouth), but what left an impression in my mind was how quickly i allowed myself to become upset and discontent over such a small matter


how many times have i fallen into this trap before? more than i'd care to admit


it's so easy to think and say: "my current situation in life is not good enough. i expect, no, i demand better." bigger houses. more clothes. faster cars. higher-definition televisions. thinner bodies. quieter appliances. more efficient furnaces. smaller mp3 players. "bigger and better than ever before!" you know the drill


it's a far cry from what i know to be true... "if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content." (1 Tim. 6:8).


nowhere in the bible do i find mention of "sacred yogurt spoons" being needed to go about my daily life. or, quite frankly, many other things which i would tend to label as "necessities." henry thoreau makes the point in walden that much of what we deem as being essential is really superfluous; the true necessities are "Food, Shelter, Clothing, and Fuel; for not till we have secured these are we prepared to entertain the true problems of life."

chances are you have all four of those things, and quite a bit more to boot. i know i do. so why do i still worry about my yogurt spoon, instead of devoting my mental faculties towards more meaningful ends?



now that's the million-dollar question

i'm no arachnaphobe, but...

last week, a spider bit me on my ankle while i was sleeping. it got all swollen and nasty and oozed disgusting fluids for three days (my ankle, not the spider), but now it's all better (thankfully!). this is an open letter to that spider, should it happen to read this:



dear spider that lives somewhere in my room,

i have nothing against spiders. in fact, i generally tend to think of you and your friends as welcome members on planet earth. i despise mosquitoes and other flying, biting insects, and they happen to be the very sort of creature that you enjoy for dinner. so i'd like to think that we can enjoy a sort of symbiotic relationship: we both can kill all of the mosquitoes, black flies, fruit flies, or even ants that we want to, as long as we look out for each other.

you had to go and ruin that, didn't you?

it would be one thing if i came close to stepping on you, or threatened one of your children, or initiated some other appreciably traumatic encounter. but no... you, for some unknown reason, felt the need to crawl under my covers, WHILE I WAS SLEEPING, and bite me near my ankle.

not cool.

did i do something to offend you? was it something i said? next time, just let me know, and perhaps we can work out our differences without resorting to biting. you're a spider; you should know that i am way too big too kill, even with your most potent brew of venom, and even if you wanted to chew on some man-flesh, i am far from succulent. your eight beady eyes should certainly have been able to deduce, even under the cover of night, that my skin is hardened and tough, not at all sweet and tender.

i'll chalk this whole series of events up to a simple understanding. you made a mistake... i can let it slide

but should you ever dare gnaw on my leg again, let me remind you of my reaction to some distant relatives of yours who also thought they could attack me in my sleep:




and, the retaliation:





so next time you have a case of the midnight munchies, look elsewhere for your late night snack. otherwise, our previously amicable relationship will take a turn for the worse, and i will hunt you down and kill you


yours truly,

patrick




(videos from the '05 road trip... you can read more about it here, or you can watch stupid short videos from it here. or not. whatever.)

titles are for the british

most days, i love my job. i love being outdoors, being active, and having some quality time to myself. most days i realize how lucky i am to have the job that i do, and i relish every moment of every day

some days, however, are slightly harder to enjoy. days when it's 32.001 degrees outside, with a howling wind determined to thrash your entire body with ice-cold needles of rain. i don't mind being cold, and i don't particularly mind being wet, but being cold and wet is a combination that can send me over the edge into despair. fortunately, we have some heavy-duty rain gear available for us to use at the water district. i broke it out for the first time last week... not because it hadn't been cold or rainy before that point, but it was the first time they had teamed up on the same day so far this fall

the rain gear is designed with two purposes in mind: to make you invincible to the elements, and to make you visible to everyone. it is thick, heavy, completely non-porous (it's like the opposite of gore-tex: guaranteed to keep the weather out, but you just may drown in your own perspiration), and bright, rubber-ducky yellow. it makes you look like you're a giant, humanoid, walking/talking banana. i hadn't dared to wear it previously, knowing that being as readily inclined to perspiration as i usually am, there was a distinct possibility that i might actually sweat to death. so i was sort of looking forward to the appropriate time to use the rain gear, in a morbid sort of way...


that is, until i actually did get to use it



it kept me mostly dry, and i stayed warm. those are both good things. but the gear fit me so poorly that the pants didn't come down quite to the tops of my boots, which somehow made the already comical outfit even more rediculous looking. and the hood on the rain jacket wouldn't stay on my head, as it blew backwards everytime i faced into the wind (which was quite often)

plus, i looked like a giant banana.


the best (worst?) part was towards the end of the day... it had been raining buckets all morning long, but just about an hour before the end of my shift, it stopped. suddenly. and the sun came out. good news, right? not if you're a mile from the truck, and you're stuck wearing the banana suit the whole walk back

if you're wearing rain gear in the rain, you look ready. prepared. hardcore. but if you're wearing rain gear when the sun is out, you look...

weird.

crazy.

perhaps even slightly maniacal.


all i know is, i got some strange looks. i wanted to make a sign and paste it on my back: "it was raining when i put it on!"


there's probably a moral in that story somewhere, but for the life of me i'm not sure where. oh well.




and.... i was going to put a couple of pictures here, but it's taking way too long to upload them since the connection keeps flaking out. so just use your imagination. as for me, i'm going to take a nap.

the holidays are here

thanksgiving has come and gone. i love thanksgiving for many reasons, but perhaps the greatest singular advantage is has over other holidays in my mind is the pure simplicity which still surround it. we don’t buy thanksgiving presents, send thanksgiving cards, have thanksgiving-eve services at church, have thanksgiving cookouts at the beach, shoot off thanksgiving fireworks, or anything like that. nope... we (i’ll presumptuously speak for all of the united states here) simply visit friends and family, eat a lot of turkey, assorted vegetables, and pie(s), and perhaps watch some football. that’s it. the consumerist aspect of the holiday is entirely concentrated within the realm of food purchases for the thanksgiving feast... which, the sin of gluttony aside, is not nearly as far removed from providing from our basic needs as the shamrockery (it’s a new word: a combination of ‘sham,’ ‘mockery,’ and ‘shamrock’) which christmas has sadly become

speaking of christmas: i highly recommend visiting adventconspiracy.org before you go out and do your christmas shopping for the year. even if you don’t agree, it’s a thought worth considering

also on the must-visit list for websites is freerice.com. now, lest you succumb to the delusion that you are actually providing vast quantities of rice for malnourished people around the world, let me quickly put a damper on that assumption. on average, a pound of rice is made up of 29,000 grains, so if you do the math it would take you quite a while to “donate” even that fairly miniscule amount of rice. however, the website is a great way to waste time... errr... to boost your vocabulary, and feel slightly productive while doing so. so i recommend it for those reasons

it bothers me slightly when the christian community mobilizes its forces to preserve the “sanctity of marriage.” it seems that we’ve already missed the boat; if we truly cared about the sanctity of marriage, between one man and one woman, wouldn’t that be reflected in our lifestyles? sure, gay marriage may still be taboo in most congregations, but where is our outrage over divorce? infidelity? adultery? when was the last time you heard of a tv network being boycotted because a majority of the characters on it’s prime time programs had been previously divorced?

everyone knows that a marriage between two professing christians is every bit as likely (and, depending on what report you look at, perhaps even slightly more likely) to end in divorce as a marriage between non-believers. shouldn’t this ginormous problem within the church be the focus of our efforts and the center of our struggle before we begin trying to convince the world that yeah, we’re pretty serious about this marriage thing?

maybe our time, money, and energies would be better spent on repairing, preserving, and sustaining marriages that already exist. maybe the couple across the street from us needs some encouragement. maybe i can stay in touch with that friend from college who just got married, and pray for him and his new family. maybe i can pay for some counseling for a couple i know who desperately needs it but can’t afford it. maybe...

maybe i don’t know what i’m talking about

whatever the case, it’s a thought that occurred to me earlier this week, and i thought i’d pass it along. feedback is welcome, as always

fun football fact for the week: the new england patriots have a chance to become the first team ever to go undefeated, win the superbowl, AND have the rights to the first overall draft pick the following year...

ahh, it’s good to be a sports fan in new england these days